Whoops!

This morning, I was driving rather quickly and in a daze. Off to another pheresis treatment, and following my routine. On the highway, off the highway, cross lanes, prepare to turn and merge at the light...oh yeah, that's a light, there's a crosswalk! "Sorry, yes, I'm aware," was my response to the rather ticked off lady who was using that cross walk and attempting to reach the curb, while hollering at me and the other cars ahead of me, "Its a RED light, I get to use this crosswalk, you gotta wait, you gotta wait". She was so very right, and I'm so very glad that she was hollering. Made me wake up from my sheepish routine!

I've noticed over the past few weeks, I've felt myself sliding into a sheepish routine outside of the car. Work, treatment, small group, TV shows, personal relationships, etc. It was last week that I caught myself feeling depressed. I told my roommate that I've lost my 'joy', and that I need to find it.

This past weekend at a minor league baseball game and again this morning during treatment, I had a stranger of sorts, say "Hey, is that you?" One of my doctors noticed me at the game and tapped my shoulder to say hello and introduce me to his family. Another patient this morning remembered my name after having not seen each other since April. Wow!! That means a lot to me, you remembered me!

Where am I going? Its the joy! The joy of meeting people, being moved by them and sharing your life with them. Its scary for sure, but think of what you miss, if you do not meet? We quickly close ourselves off, we become routine, we forget there is more, we miss the nuances, we skip the challenges, we follow the herd...we lose our joy.