Give Thanks for the Leaves

I'm scurrying around this morning as I always do.  Alarm goes off with the start of the news on local radio. Listen to 3 minutes of headlines, then the traffic, then the weather. Now get up. Shower, dress, makeup, iron what needs ironing while 2 cups of coffee brew. Prep cereal 'to go' cups for our ride to work. Read devotional and feel joy for that moment. What's for lunch? Check emails, start list for groceries, check menu for week. Make the bed. Find shoes and necklace and finish coffee. Ready?
Tired with me? I know, I know...you have the same schedule with a few variations.

While making the bed and wondering where the cat was, I looked out the window for a moment at the tree next to the building, which is barely dressed in its own fall colors.  Next I feel the words, "give thanks for the leaves."

This past Thursday, on Thanksgiving morning, I snapped a fast picture of the same tree and the same leaves, because it was as if they changed color over night!  They were a beautiful shade of yellow that reminded me of the Aspen trees I adore.  They were here and then a front blew in and they now cover much of the ground.  The tree of course remains, but it appears a bit more chilly without its clothes on!

How beautiful the leaves were in their moment.  Really it was a moment, and I'm sooo very glad that I was able to see and appreciate the leaves in their majesty for that moment. In the sprint and summer months, they look much like the trees and leaves around them...or so I believe.  However, in the fall/winter months after weekend full of rain, the leaves truly put on a show.  It was fast, and only here for a minute, but by golly, I was able to appreciate the transition those leaves demonstrated.

Did I put deodorant on?  Dang it!  My coffee is now gone. Double dang it!  My moments are fast and fleeting, as are yours.  Do I want to live that way?  Not necessarily. I want to spend more time looking at the leaves and learning to appreciate their Spring/Summer too.  In the mean time, I'll savor the moments there are, and give thanks for the leaves I see.

Happy Birthday Momma!

Is it really just a cup of coffee?

Hi...its me again.  Giving thanks!

Each morning while making my coffee at home, I take a minute to 'toast' God while taking my first sip.  "Thanks for another day!" and I raise my mug.  Rather than just dive right into my routine, I stood there for a moment to appreciate the flavor, the warmth, the satisfaction of the moment, the creative mug, the brilliant coffee maker, the tasty creamer, the ability to consume the coffee without choking, the strength to stand while building this wonderful cup of coffee, and then my mind shifted.

"Thank you for the hands that stocked the coffee and creamer on the shelves at the grocery, the drivers who drove the product, those who came into work that day and packaged the coffee for ME, the hands that grew the coffee bean so well, the wonderful weather needed to grow the plant, the soil that fed the growth, those hearts who harvested the plants, the hands who planted (or drove the machine which planted) the seeds, and the plant before that which generated the seeds from which my wonderful cup of coffee comes from.  Thank you for all the hands, the hearts, the families who contribute, and the beauty of life.  Bless this coffee to the nourishment of my body, and bless my body to your service.  Amen."

Now...whats for breakfast...

The Celebration Series - Surely this is part 6 of 6.

Wrapping up my Celebration Series, and appreciate your reading along. Final verse, verse 6: Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me All the days of my life; And I will dwell in the house of the Lord Forever

Surely – The word is one of those words that sounds funny in my head.  And what does it even mean?  We aren't calling on “Shirley”, or “shoring” up the failing hillside, and I’m not acting “surly” and growling. Most often I say this word and roll my eyes at the same time, indicating my sarcasm and doubt. None of this works here. 

Surely equates to speaking with confidence “He spoke surely and without a doubt” …spoken with confidence.  This one, I’ll hold on to.

Goodness and Mercy shall follow me…like caped crusader. Really. Imagine that.  Replace Batman and Robin with two heroes named Goodness and Mercy.  They are always around!

All the days of my life – Each day I’m on the earth. Each. Day. “The evening and the morning were the first day.”  This is a statement of fact. Your life is measured by days. How many do we experience? All of them, whether you know it, or not.

And I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever. Sounds like the 40-year old who never moved out of mom and dad’s house, right?  How about the same person who fell on hard times and moved back into the parents’ home? Dwell is to live as a resident, or remain for a time.  You may dwell on a thought about your dwelling.  Ok, so we aren’t dwelling on, but dwelling in! Where is the house of the Lord? Go back to the child that returns home. Why? What motivates the child to return home? Safe. Doesn’t cost as much. Family is near. Familiar. Supportive. Love.

Most definitely, Goodness and Mercy will follow me around each day I’m alive on this earth, even while I’m still living at home, with God.

...thanks...this was fun. ;)

The celebration series - ..part 5 and back to verse 5

Life slowed me down…back to verse 5

You anoint my head with oil – I’ve been a little hung up on this part of the verse, and was waiting for the words to grab me. My first thoughts were hot oil on my hair. I will actually use this now and again, if my hair is really brittle.  Its ‘supposed’ to help…yes, I buy the marketing.  That didn't feel right, despite the fact that I’m sure the Big Guy would love for me to take care of my brittle hair and split ends. 

After reading a little more, I realized there were references to various types of oils, as well as recipes. A few examples: oil of joy for mourning, oil of gladness; and anointing oil. I really stopped investigating after reading about the anointing oil, as it was intended to mark those who were to be set apart, such as royalty. This maaaay have been before the whole ‘knighting’ protocol came around, back when you would tap the shoulders of the chosen one.  ..and I’m pretty sure this supersedes the ‘swearing someone in’ bit, where the newly chosen places their hand on a Bible… just sayin. 

A host often marked their guest with oil, and swore to protect them.  …in the presence of an enemy.

My cup runs over – I remember always worrying about this line.  If you make a mess, you gotta clean it up! However, a dinner guest, receiving this much attention, is not pouring their own glass.  The host is making the mess, the host is pouring from a bottomless container, the host wants you to stay and keep on keeping on into the wee hours. You are safe, you are well fed, your belly is full. As your cup runneth over, take a minute to appreciate why it runs over.  Science. Consumption. Poor eye sight. Appreciation. Excitement. Parental love.  …Mom and Dad will never let you stand inside their house hungry or thirsty.

Now, stop thinking about sweet tea or wine or water running over the sides of that lovely cup. YOU are the vessel.  You are the vessel that is being filled with goodness.  You feel safe, you are not hungry, you've found an oasis in a really dark valley, and you feel relief. You feel gratitude towards something bigger than yourself.  You are the cup and the goodness runneth over. 

Celebration Series - part 4

Sakes alive, we’re reading verse 5.

Thou/You prepare a table – What comes to mind as you’re preparing a table?  First, there must be guest involved, otherwise, I’m using the TV tray…not a table.  Fine, we have guest.  How many?  Do I have enough plates (not matching, just plates)?  Are all the forks and knives clean? Can I use plastic? What about place mats, oh, should I use a table cloth?  Cloth…cloth napkins?  That means I need to iron those.  Where are they?  How many do I have?  Do they match the table cloth?  Can we go out to eat?

It doesn’t matter. None of it matters.  YOU prepare a table, which means He knows you’re going to be stopping by.

In the presence of my enemies – In the presence of my enemies, you did what? First of all, if we’re IN the presence of enemies…mine or yours…my gut reaction is that we must defend.  Prepare to fight!  Instead, we’re going to sit down and this lovely table that was prepared with matching plates? ..but..what about defending?

Stop.  Now flip it around. You’re on the enemy side. How do you feel if you walk up on this awesome table setting, in the middle off a dark, dank forest in the valley?  You’ve been fighting for days to capture this weak little soul who can’t fight their way out of a wet paper bag.  You’re tired too and hungry.  Haven’t eaten for days.  Then *BAM* …what? There’s a table all set up for a lush meal, food may have already been placed, and there sits the soul you've been chasing, relaxed and eating meal. In fact…is that soul wearing stretchy pants and fuzzy slippers?  Whaaat?

Ok. Flip back.  YOU are that wonderful soul sitting at a table that has been so awesomely prepared, and even though the enemy is drooling over your meal, you know you are safe and can relax and eat a meal.  You get to rebuild your strength. You are protected.  You ARE preparing to defend and fight a little more. 

How awesome to know a safe place to restore my energy and rest my old bones, awaits me, smack dab in the middle of dark valley. 

The Celebration Series...part 3, from me!

The Celebration Series continues... part 3 of ...
Celebrating 5 years living with Myasthenia Gravis, I want to share my 23rd Psalm. 

Post #2 left us in the middle of verse 4. Reminder - I am intentionally breaking up the verses we so often read in sing-song fashion, and removing the punctuation, because I want to feel how each part of a verse stands on its own...or paired differently with the next verse. 

I will fear no evil - this feels a lot like verse 1, in that my read of this shouts the fact as a declaration.  "I am not afraid!"...even though I am really tired and dealing with stuff I really just don't want to deal with. In fact, I say this to myself through the day when I'm just having that slight moment of panic that may or may not be justified.  Its the same one you get the pit in your stomach when you kiss your love good bye for the day because you have the fear it could be the last; when you get that unexpected call from the family member you haven't spoken to in a while; when you get an odd piece of mail from the bank that looks a little too real; when you forget to lock the car which has your personal belongings, and the 'remote clicker' just wont reach the distance. ...but you press that button anyway...  That slight pit in the stomach which feels silly, but is real none the less.  "I will fear no evil" and I'm watched over, so whatever happens, I can deal with it.

For YOU are with me - Ok. Stop.  This just hit me. It is here, in verse 4 that the Psalm begins to sing/speak TO the subject of celebration. Verses 1-3 are those that sing about the calm...the warm up.  Now the music picks up pace and we're singing LOUD. I'm picturing me singing the song “Drops of Jupiter" by the band Train (love!), where there is an awesome momentum building switch in the music (yeah, I don't know musical vocab), after the chorus has been sung through a few times.  I really enjoy belting those lines out and the waiving my fist in the air at the just the right time.  We're rocking out, because YOU are with Me!

Your rod and your staff comfort me - Truly, I did a little study work on this part of the verse, because it called to me.

A shepherd carries a rod and staff while tending to the flock.  The staff is the taller, stronger multipurpose stick we imagine when we traditionally talk of those who herd sheep.  One source said this is made from a sapling tree and is formed specifically for the shepherd.  The staff is used to support the shepherd, while he walks or as he stands observant. The hook formed on the end of the staff, is necessary to help retrieve a sheep who may have found its way into a tight spot and needs assistance wriggling out.  The hook is also used to gently lay across the side of the sheep from a distance, to help nudge the lil rascal back to the path, rather than the sheep finding the thicket. Course corrections.

Now, the rod on the other hand, is a smaller stick that may be hip high, 2-4 feet.  It was sometimes worn on the hip and used as a tool to defend or also as walking support. I imagine a club type tool, maybe something out of Harry Potter, in that it’s an older piece of stick that is knotted with a dried up root ball on the end. In any case, the rod would be hurled at predators to defend, or sometimes thrown towards the thicket, the sheep were walking towards.  Why?  To startle them back to the herd.   Stranger Danger!

...I will fear no evil as we walk this particular path of righteousness which happens to lead through this scary valley of darkness, because I know YOU are with me, protecting me through course correction and by clubbing the enemy with that awesome tree root!

The Celebration Series - part 2 of ....a few.

The Celebration Series continues... part 2 of a few! ...Celebrating 5 years living with Myasthenia Gravis, I want to share my 23rd Psalm. 

Last Post, I left you in the middle of verse 3. Note - I am intentionally breaking up the verses we so often read in sing-song fashion, and removing the punctuation, because I want to feel how each part of a verse stands on its own...or paired differently with the next verse. 

He leads me in the paths of righteousness – Paths. There are several.  Plural means more than one!  Did you notice that?  I NEVER did, and by golly this one smacked me good.   How often do you find yourself speaking down to you, and feeling horrible about the decisions you’ve made or the path you’re on?  Well I can’t count the many times where I’ve had my own little pity party because I’m not where I’m supposed to be.  HOLD THE PHONE! What if you ARE where you’re supposed to be?  HE LEADS ME IN THE PATHS…what if you ARE on a path that He chose, and yet YOU just won’t give yourself permission to see that? Since you’re here, why can’t your journey be a righteous one?

For His name’s sake – Growing up, if you were named after a family member, you were his/her’s name sake.  Because you shared a name, you were destined to grow up with similar persona, as your name sake.  Make sense?  For me, it’s a badge of honor. I share the same middle name as my mom and my grandma. It gives me a line to my past, and I know I’m similar to both.  My first name is also present on my dad’s side of the family, but I never knew her. I do wonder if we behave in any similar manner.  Jesus is God’s son on earth, as are we His children.  We are His name sake! He leads me in the path of righteousness, for His children, His name sake(s). He leads me in the paths of righteousness so that I may see what it really means to inherit His name.  It is an honor to walk with Him and to know the line to my past and to see where we ARE so similar.

Yea though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death – “Even when I have to endure what I perceive to be one of the toughest parts of my life…”  How many times have you thought a situation bad enough that you just want to run and hide, give up the ghost, or maybe fight and cry like you never have before? The death is just TOO much to imagine or believe! The financial hardship came out of nowhere and you see NO way out of the mess you’re in! The Doctor just shook your world and you don’t feel the energy to endure the treatment or bills!  Many times I've asked “Why me? …is this a punishment because I made bad decisions or hurt someone?” Oh yeah, I have to remind myself regularly that the simple answer is NO. My God doesn't bring the hurt, but by golly he’s right there with me, when I need to endure. 

This was one of my bigger ‘AH HA’ moments when reading the 23^rd Psalm this go ‘round…watch this…

“He leads me in the paths of righteousness…even though these paths will cross through the valley of the shadow of death….” ...Yeah…even those dark times in our lives….they JUST might be part of the righteous path…heck, my heart tells me those dark times are camping out on each and every path of righteousness. Even still, He will lead you by the green pastures and still waters as soon as He can. 

The Celebration Series part 1 of ...however many I choose...

This month, I'm celebrating our 5-year anniversary with Myasthenia Gravis! Can you believe it?  This past week, I read back through some of the early post on this blog, and even found some of the original emails which preceded the creation of this blog.  At that time we named the emails 'The Rachel Report'.  If you're going to go through something scary, by golly, have a little fun with it.  Well, I was really hiding my fear behind the goofiness. There was fear.  Lots.

This applies to so many life situations, but it's scary when you feel like you've actually met the cause of your impending death.  Your perception of life wakes up in a whole new way.  Its real.  The feelings don't really come with words, so lets not pretend.  Now, processing those feelings...I choose to be silly or to write.

This has been on my heart for a really long time, so I'm going to put my fear of your disapproval aside and just leap.  In honor of our 5-year journey, and because this is a HUGE part of how we've made it through, I want to share MY 23rd Psalm, with YOU.

Believer or not, you know this passage.  I challenge you to read with me, and pick it apart.

There are MANY versions of the Bible...a LOT.  I've read several in studying this chapter, as each will resonate with me in a different way. Kind of like studying a fantasy football pick. You read commentary and stats from a gazillon different sources before you claim that player for your roster.

For reference purposes, I'm going to use the New King James Version here...but check out others if you like.  A few of the versions I'm using are: the Living Bible, the Message, the New International Version, etc.

New King James Version (KJV)

The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. ² He makes me to lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside the still waters. ³ He restores my soul;He leads me in the paths of righteousness For His name’s sake. ⁴ Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; For You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me. ⁵ You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; You anoint my head with oil;My cup runs over.⁶ Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me All the days of my life; And I will dwell^[a] in the house of the Lord Forever

Part 1: 

The LORD is MY shepherd – Read this as a declaration!  He’s the captain of the team, and He chose you to play for His side. Oh, and you were NOT chosen last.  Yeah, remember that feeling in gym class?  What a rush if both captains tried to pick you first, but most of us weren't that person.  Sometimes you feel like the person who is leftover and simply must be absorbed onto one team or the other.  Not here!  You were chosen to be part of HIS team!

I shall NOT want – Claim this, as an independent thought. You know you’re on the team. You know you’re captain is pretty awesome. Your laces are tied, the crowd is cheering for you, not against you, and you had a good lunch! What more do you need right now?

He makes me lie down in green pastures – I remember the sensation of playing in the pasture as a kid and having so much fun running through the space before hay bailing, because we created tunnels.  We were plenty tall to see over the grass, but we would zip up our hoodies and create tunnels/paths through the tall grass, and pretend to become lost from each other.  After hay bailing, the grass smelled so sweet and the large mazes of our hidden trails were no more.  Now, we could simply lay out on the pasture and see the sky forever.  Listen to the birds. Hear the neighbor cows.  Feel the neighbor horses run a firm gallop, while chasing nothing.  It was peace.

He leads me beside still waters – As a child, the sill water screamed at me to ‘throw a rock’ and see how many skips my skills would create.  Now as an adult, I find myself watching the still water with new eyes. It’s beautiful to see the bugs zipping to and from the water surface, either teasing the fish or claiming their algae; to see the reflection on the glass, of the birds flying overhead; to see the perfect mirror of the mountain on the other side that no photo or painting will ever really capture.  In either scenario, the calm water brings joy.

He restores my soul. Capturing the emotions, sensations, and feelings I personally have, when remembering the green pastures and still waters, brings me to a place of ‘still’.  For me, being still equates to sitting in agreement that the rest can wait and appreciating each sound you hear such as the rhythm of the many cars on the nearby highway; the garage door neighbors as they depart; the rumble of the mufflers from cars that shouldn’t have them at this hour; the flutter of the tree leaves as the birds hop through the trees collecting food or structure for their nest; the chirp of the same birds and those in other trees directing traffic or saying hello; the oh-so-kind beep of the coffee pot letting you know the ‘go juice’ is ready. To be, still means being present and appreciative.  

....more soon....

Don't worry, be Happy!

Congratulations, we've made it through the first 30 days of the new year, and have almost completed the 1st month of the new year. That's something to cheer about!  You're rolling your eyes...I can see you through the web cam on your computer...   (that IS a lie).

Pick today to be the day you choose to be excited about something.  It may be that you choose to find cheer in seeing the same cars on your way to work today ("excellent, they lived to see another day"), or cheer to try the new non-dairy creamer flavor at work (rebel!), or cheer because you have something coming up this weekend to look forward to (Go Broncos!).  Pick something to be excited about!

Yes, you're going to see the same cars, and yes the coffee may taste the same today as it has every day, and yes, you'll come home to see the same mess that you left behind.  So what? You get to CHOOSE to be happy about something.  If you're reading this, then be happy that you've reached another day, and that you have air in your lungs.

Today, Lee and I wrap up a brief fast we do each new year. From afar, we celebrate the start of a new year with those at Free Chapel Church, in GA, by taking part in a Daniel's Fast.  The purpose of the fast will differ for many, but we choose to honor our faith by respecting the power of prayer and sacrifice.

As we conclude our fast, I choose to be excited for the time I spent fasting and the amazing blessings I've immediately watched come from that, both anticipated and unexpected. Yesterday, I not only had a successful Rituxan booster infusion, but I also had multiple communications from within the MG community about growth. Lots of great stuff ramping up, and I am BLESSED to be party to that revolution!

Right now, I'm excited to reintroduce myself to a pot of caffeinated coffee.  

I challenge you, that regardless of the routine you feel consumes you at home, at work, in the community, alter your perceptions. You may not be able to change the routine, but you CAN choose to be happy in it.

Oh, and ...GO BRONCOS!