Day 51...and holding....it's something like that. Day 50+ before the double vision came back. I could feel the eye muscles begin to tighten over a 2-3 day span, then caught glimpses of the twin images in my peripheral when I would turn my head quickly (driving). "Oh damn." That was my only thought. That was my perspective of the ordeal I knew the next couple of weeks would be.
I'm not certain if all myasthenics experience the exact same thing when it comes to double vision, but with mine, I'm unable to rest the double vision away. Once it begins, it typical last for 2 weeks. If you've read prior blogs, I've mentioned how my symptoms build up to double vision. This time it snuck up on me; suppose I didn't realize how much my body was dealing with, but it snuck up on me. Maybe I took my 50+ stable days for granted. As with anyone dealing with an ailment, my body wears down much more quickly when dealing with double vision, simply because daily routines require twice as much energy. Focus on which of the two toothbrushes you see, is real? Which corner of the table to do you avoid; which stair is the right one to step up/down; which car is the real one come towards you? OH, i know, driving with double vision is a no-no. I do rest more with double vision, but only because I'm tired. It wont make the silliness stop, however.
Lee and I will be married this coming Saturday. We are SOOO excited and have waited for this day, forEVER! I've prayed and prayed since April, to have single vision on this day. It could still happen, but if not, it will be OK. This time around doesn't feel as intense as it has previously-maybe my tolerance is higher. Those joining us for our wedding, fully understand that I'm a bit wobbly at times, and they'll laugh with me if I tilt over here and there-maybe I'm more accepting. After months of cold, gray weather, we will have a beautiful 70 degree day, perfect for an outdoor wedding-maybe my priorities are different. After a long wait and many trials, I get to marry the love of my life-maybe I'm trusting all will be OK.
I was really, really, really ready to pout about this round of double vision. Of course it isn't what I'd hoped and prayed for, but if life were all tied up with a pretty bow on it, what fun would this journey be? If everything went down a planned route, what would motivate us? Now I pray for ease in dealing with the double vision on my wedding day, and strength to keep my light shining through the event!
skip to main |
skip to sidebar
Smile because you can!
Life is such an amazing adventure! One day you're cruising along with certain expectations, a planned route, and plenty of gas in the tank. The next, you're not sure where you are on the map and your compass fell beind that comfy seat you were in.
Smile because you can!
About Me
- Rachel
- Austin, TX
- My name is Rachel, and I have a neuromuscular disease called Myasthenia Gravis. This crazy condition was bestowed upon me in late 2008, and has the ability to render your body weak and sometimes useless unless proper treatments are administered. I've learned so much, and I feel blessed I am able to share. I'm nervous to write, but have learned that I should. Maybe you'll take something away from my nonsense.